I can’t even believe we are sharing this news! We are expecting twins! It feels like we have been laughing ever since we found out.
It’s been hard to put into words how thankful we are and how beautiful God’s story is. We have had a desire to grow a family and for some time it felt like that would never happen. We lost our first baby, Asher, at 19 weeks, and then went on to have a very difficult pregnancy with our sweet, little Lucas where we were told he had a 5-10% chance of making it. He is almost two years old and the light of our lives. In March of this year, I became pregnant again. We were excited and nervous all at once. But I knew something felt off. We lost that precious baby around 6-7 weeks. We named him Silas.
In the midst of all that heartbreak and heaviness, I struggled. Ben struggled. But the road to becoming and being a mom has been one that I am eternally grateful for. I had to dig deep, I had to question, I had to ask for strength… I had to go to the Lord. I needed him. I still do. Seems like more now than ever. Psalm 23 really brings this all to life for me.
We found out we were expecting again in late July. Again, I was filled with anxiousness. You’d think that seeing a positive pregnancy test would bring immediate excitement and relief, but for me, and I know for many women, it’s just the start of a whole new set of worries. I know it sounds awful, but I almost expected to miscarry again.
At our first ultrasound, around 7 weeks, we found out the incredible news… there were two babies. I almost immediately started crying and Ben was laughing. We were filled with every imaginable emotion. When the bible talks about full life, we experienced it that day. Full life, full emotion, oh my goodness!
The first trimester felt so long. With two babies, it almost felt like my fears doubled. My thoughts meandered to thoughts of losing them. Both of them. I felt incredibly scared, uneasy. But every ultrasound there were those two sets of heartbeats, our two babies growing healthy and strong. God was moving in my heart.
As I started to turn that corner to the second trimester, I was also able to think more clearly because I was getting my energy back and the nausea was subsiding. I felt God reminding me that He was in control. That he had my sweet babies. That he had me. That His story for me was a good one. That He had good things for me. I started to feel my heart feel thankful. To trust Him. To let my wall come down and treasure my babies.
God’s story for us (and I believe for everyone), is one of powerful and beautiful redemption. Not because he has given me good things, but because He was with me and for me in the storms of my life. The gift of being able to grow a family is a picture of his lavish, undeserving grace for me. Gosh, a gift I am so thankful for.
Thank you for reading our story and sharing in our joy. We love you and I wish I could give you a hug.
If you are interested, I have answered a few more specific, logistical questions that I have been asked a lot.
When are you due?
I am due technically April 1st, but my doctor’s practice won’t have me go past 38 weeks (still full term). I will be induced by mid-March!
What are the genders?
We are having two boys! We are so excited to grow a little baseball team! Haha. Seriously though, I cannot wait to raise kind, compassionate, strong little men!
How are you feeling? Is it different having twins?
I am 20 weeks today, and the second trimester has been wonderful (despite typical pregnancy aches and pains – pelvic pain and headaches have been my plight!). The first trimester was noticeable a little different, just a little more of everything – more nausea, more fatigue, more raging hormones – which totally makes sense if you think about it!
I think the biggest difference for me has been an emotional one. With Lucas, we were going to the doctor for weekly ultrasounds, not sure if he would still have a heartbeat. I am very thankful we have not had to experience that anxiety this pregnancy.
Are they identical or fraternal?
As far as we know they are fraternal. They have their own sacs and own placentas – the healthiest kind of multiple pregnancy to have. Our high risk OB said there is a small chance they are identical though!
What does Lucas think of the babies?
That is a funny one! Lucas will be almost 2.5 when they come, and we are pretty sure he has no idea what is coming! I’ve been trying to prep him when we are around my friends’ babies, and he definitely has had a pique in his baby interest lately and will say “awwww” and get very giggly around the babies. He knows our little routine of “Lucas come say hi to the babies!” Ben has even trained him to come give the babies a “high-five”, lol! He gets excited when we ask him about the babies, and I know he will be an amazing older brother.
Below are some photos from our recent family session with the oh so talented Ashley Henry of Henry Photography.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord